You Need a FAFO Notebook
In an outcome-obsessed world, fooling around gets forgotten.
There’s a lot of niche topics in the notebook-o-sphere online. How to pick the right notebook, How many notebooks are too many?, How my notebook changed my life, etc., etc.
One of the common types of articles is How to get over your fear of ruining a notebook. It addresses the common problem, from journals to sketchbooks, of feeling inadequate to the task of filling it. What can I draw/write that is worthy of paper this fine, a cover this crafted? Solutions range from spill coffee on it! to throw it across the room as hard as you can to (my favorite) open the book to a random page halfway through and scribble on it. There, you’ve already “ruined” the book! Problem solved.*
This Sunday, 11am CST, is another Papermancy Guild Hearth event! We get together online and share our interests, challenges, and projects.
Click the link below to learn more, or email me to get an invite!
This is not one of those articles.
I don’t want you to risk ruining your notebook.
I want you risk ruining your life.
In Defense of F!@#ing Around
I like a good dose of karma as much as anyone, but I am a little sad that the acronym “FAFO” (“Fool Around and Find Out!”) now mainly is used in reference to folks who happen to get the kind of day they voted for in one way or the other.
I get it, it’s a very satisfying form of I told you so! mixed with What did you think would happen?
At the same time…when have either of those phrases been used pleasantly? Taken out of the political context, they bring to mind parents and teachers who are doing their best to crush some youthful enthusiasm or experiment into conformity.
And since most people don’t want to do that, or remember too well how it was done to them, there arises another genre of self-help articles, about getting over the fear of failure. Maria Bowler, in Making Time (affiliate link), sums it up wonderfully:
The mantra “fail fast” became popular in the world of computer systems and start-ups to encourage innovation and speedy greatness. Their idea is to discover what doesn’t work early so you can find what does. Get the failure over with so you can get to the success part.
But, as she points out, this merely creates another binary for success/failure: did your failure help you figure out how not to fail? No? Then you must have failed at failing! It’s as bad as the worst advice ever given in a galaxy far, far away: Do, or do not. There is no try.
Bullshit. There is only try. And that’s why you need a FAFO notebook.
A place for ridiculous, impractical, unachievable, totally dumb ideas.
Ok, fine, this is kind of a You Need a New Notebook article. If I was better at selling notebooks instead of teaching folks how to make their own I’d totally have a custom-made edition with the letters F.A.F.O. on the cover.
But we need to remember that we have permission to have silly ideas, impractical desires. Having a place to ask “what if…” and not just jump to the first conclusion because who has time to think about something like nuance?
We keep getting focused on “move fast and break things” or next phase, “move slow and heal things, but maybe “why are you moving? You’re fine where you are, and so are they.” is also valid.
I’m not talking about a list-book, where you jot down thirty bad ideas before breakfast.** I’m talking about a “What if I…” journal with one maybe-bad idea that you spend thirty minutes on exploring with curiosity and imagination. What if I decided to train for a marathon? What if I decided to get an MFA in Renaissance Italian Theatre? What if I ran for state senate? What if I threw away the tv and played board games with the kids every night? What if I quit my job to paint butterflies on rocks?
At first glance, the answer may seem simple and direct. Butterfly rocks? My family and friends would desert me, I’d have no money,and end up abandoned and alone wandering along the riverbank.
Maybe. You know what? Lots of rocks on the riverbank. And depending on the season, maybe butterflies too.
Rediscovering the delight of the absurd and the potential within chaos.
Kids know this. I saw it just last night in the closing circle of my granddaughter’s aikido class. After going around saying their names, the sensei suggested they give their “silly” names.
One kid decided to be obstreperous and gave his real name, something like “Marcus!” That’s one point for absurdity: do the opposite of what’s expected.
The assistant teacher, on his turn, smiled down at the kid and said his name, too, was “Marcus!” Everyone laughed, because it wasn’t, and that wrongness was funny!
Then it was my granddaughter’s turn, and she cheerfully proclaimed “Smiley!” I’ve got no idea where she came up with that, or why, but you know what people do when you say your name is “smiley”?
They smile. And all the kids and teachers and us adults did too, because it was a moment of delight.
Can you imagine doing that at your next staff meeting? No? Well, that’s why you need a FAFO notebook. So you can remember how much fun it is to fool around and, within the foolery, find out what it has to teach you.
* This method is my favorite because it includes a long-term surprise: at some point while using the notebook you’ll suddenly come across this scribbled page, and realize that this notebook you were scared of is now at least halfway full! See “Staple Day” in the FieldNotes communities online for another version of this.
** Not that there’s anything wrong with that — James Altucher has a lot to say about it, look it up.